Dittohead

And so Thanksgiving stopped by for a short visit. It dropped off a 10lb turkey which four of us dutifully devoured in two meals. I like how Turkey day is treated with so much anticipation because it gives way for Christmas anticipation. "We can't wait for T-giving so that we can start waiting for X-mas" is the prevailing opinion. Meh, whatever, nobody gives me anything for Christmas. And no one lets me make turducken.

A bigger damp squib on the radar is New Year's Eve. Now. Just as I hate "anyways", I hate it when people say "New Years". New Years what? Anyway, new year's eve is one of the biggest let downs of the year and that's saying something considering I'm a 26 year old guy living by myself. The few people who willingly tolerate my august company all hang around in Boulder, which being a college town, empties itself during the winter break. Great.

No one will want to drive, who wants to stay sober on such an "important" night right? The unlucky SOB who drives has the onerous task of finding a spot while the revelers take off to shoot lousy specials. Why the hell does everything around me look like a ghost town when every freaking spot in a 5 mile radius around downtown is taken?

And then there's the bar hopping in the cold winter and sharing space with creepy 50 year olds (both sexes). The problem is, no party is ever good enough. There is always the other bar with the other DJ, that confused guy who knows that girl who's throwing a mean theme party and this other joint where unspeakable things happened last year. All that anticipation and peaks at 11 PM, and you already know that no matter what you do in THIS bar, it'll never be as cool as what you COULD have done in some other place. Oooh, I should have thrown a house party instead (ignore the tiny voice telling you that no one would come). And then there are the assholes who won't get wasted. "I don't want to welcome the new year with a hangover" the smug couple says. Makes me want to puke, but maybe that's just the Jager shot talking. Who drinks that shit anyway and why do I know someone who would buy me one?

Finally midnight rolls around, the DJ counts down and the entire crowd is unsure what to do. Stick my tongue at that random drunk I just met? Chug my watered down drink? WHERE THE HELL IS THE SHOT I ORDERED TWENTY MINUTES AGO THAT I WAS HOPING WOULD IMPRESS RANDOM IDIOTS?

And before you know it, it's last call. Arrogant bouncers want you out, cleaning sub-staff shake their heads at you as they wade through knee-deep dixie cup piles. Well, that's over. Now what? Super, party's over, everyone's sleepy. JUST LIKE ANY OTHER WEEKEND. Sleep, wake up at 2 PM ruing that the first holiday of the year is 3/4 gone already.

Oh great, the idiots at work will ask me what I did for "New Years". Yeah, you were in Vegas - good for you. Oh road trip to Miami? Freakin' awesome. Oddly shaped pills from shady strangers in a suspicious alley? Joy. Me? Passed out on my friend's couch and not drunk enough to sleep well. Can't wait to do it all again in 364 days. Will you drive next time?