Kettle Whistle

Indians can be a contemptuous lot. Especially to one another. For all out chest thumping about our ancient civilization we get incredibly polarized for all kinds of reasons. Money, looks, languages, religions - we seem to hate extremities.

I, for example, reserve great contempt for the Hindi speaking towelheads from up north. It's just a language idiots, not speaking it doesn't make me any less Indian. No, it's not our national language, and I have absolutely no use for it. In fact, if it keeps me from avoiding conversation with you coneheads, I'll continue faking ignorance of the language. In fact, considering the load your overpopulated, brain dead,  lawless states impose on the regions that actually contribute to the economy (read : us), secession is a very tempting thought.

When we gained independence in 1947, and wrote all our history books to make it look like it was thanks to the greatness of the North Indians, we designated English and Hindi to be our "co-official" languages. That means the state and national governments can communicate in either English or Hindi with each other. The idea was that Hindi would be the sole operative official language after 1965, but them Tamils down south ensured that didn't come to pass. The constitution "recommends" that Hindi education should reach all shores of the land, but doesn't impose any "national" language status on Hindi. Yes, it's a "nationally recognized" language, as are some 26 others.

What it all comes down to, my friends, is that English works just fine for me, thank you very much. I won't speak in Hindi any more than you will in my language in my hometown.

This was going to be a post about accents and call centers, but dang, look at where I ended up. Towelheads.