And then

Its been over a month since I wrote last. Its been a tough little month. Lots of fun, some pain. Its all good.

I was convinced this blog was almost dead, for there was too much out there to live. There still is, but today I want to write. The "blog" will have no more comments for users to post; I truly dont care. This is my page. Back to my dead blog. Having a blog to me at first was no more meaningful than my first gmail account. Gee 1 Gig? Why would I need that much? I still dont, but the nerd in me took to gmail like a Republican to Catholicism. Anyway, the blog was much like a new 5 MP camera. You want to photograph every damn thing there is. That sunset, the ant on your neighbours patio, that blonde waiting for a bus, the woman's beautiful hand in yours. I notice I'm a city animal and there's no ambition to see tuskers on film. Elk in my shotgun's crosshair, maybe, but thats for later. Anyway, so you have this hot new camera, and its your friend's bday. You click away to glory. The candles go out, cake is cut, everyone is so happy. And you're right there, behind the camera. "Did you like the cake?" "Oh, I didnt eat, there were so many photos to take".

"Did you finally talk to that girl you see at the stop everyday?" "Nah, I was hiding so I could capture her on film". And so it goes. A day without your camera has you thinking "What would this moment look like on my 4.5 in LCD screen? On my 1200X900 plasma screen?". And it hits you. All those moments, all the smiles that you missed. You dont want to share photos on flikr anymore. You want to be in those moments yourself. You want to hold a warm hand, not a cold clammy cannon. Thats the story. I spent the last 1 month blissfully with the ones that care for me, not to get great "posts" that people could ROTFL for, but for ME to squint my eyes and laugh at.

Boy, do I have tales to tell. Tales of friendship, anguish, love, bliss and crashing troughs. Great times indeed, but what exactly am I upto here? I realized today that maybe writing is not that bad after all. Its like when you pull yourself out of a high after a joint. There's that field of view around you. You take a deep breath and say to yourself "Alright! Steady now". Floyd mumbles about his wasted dreams. And then the vision pans out. Or is that zooms out? You are outside the picture now. Everything is so clear. That 19 year old is hitting on that 24 yr old chick who likes him but cant figure out why he's hitting on her. Both know what a hopeless case it is. And yet the music plays and the masks are worn. Then there's that chap who needs to talk about his failed relationships to sympathetic ears. I should get him to blog. The girl kissing her boyfriend at his farewell party. Ah, the sentiments are non zero. What a relief. And then there's the 23 year old confused about that 25 year old. Will she, wont she? Why doesnt she say whats on her mind? 4 languages that they share, yet no words to address the grand mess. But yet, the track changes and that fantastic french woman guides you to sunlight. Tomorrow's a fresh day. I'll talk tomorrow they think. The dance goes on. Smiles, kisses and hugs.

Life is so perfect. Its keeps a blogger happy