Suicide by star

Note to self (and other dimwits) - When a girl asks about her ex, TREAD GENTLY. In fact, run away.

See, in my feeble dating experience, a break-up is an intervention and is the only solution that doesn't end in murder. So when my friend asked about our mutual friend who was her ex, I replied "oh you know him, he's the same". "And what does that mean?" she quizzed. A wiser man would have picked his next few words carefully, but the only time "wise" applied to me was when it was followed by "ass". So naturally I boasted "Eh, you know, he's full of it as usual". Silence. I went on "you know, he's always bragging..." and this point those rusty gears in my head began turning as I had the onerous task of processing multiple thoughts. "whoa, she's frowning", "talking about how he's plowed multiple girls since the break-up will not end well" and "did I wear deo?"  I ended with "... bragging about how he's leading a totally er healthy lifestyle. Say the weather is FINE tonight".

CRISIS AVERTED.