Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Tell All The People

I have a mild form of ADD, I think. Oooh look, shiny thing. Anyway. I'm somehow never around when conversations begin and lose patience to see them to the end. Saturday night - Belated birthday binge drinking, now that we're all responsibly employed. Pre-drink conversation, no idea who started it and how.

Someone : Man, I feel old.
Someone else : Me too!
Birthday chap : ....
Girl who was never into live bands : yeh, let's get away from the band, can't stand the noise! Heh, guess we're all oldies now!
Asshole who volunteers opinion irrespective of audience: You're telling me, I'm 30 and I'm the oldest in this group, this is a first!
Me : Bartender, 7 car-bombs, double shot Jameson on the rocks and some guinness.

2 hours, several drinks later

Bald guy : Have you had (some IPA)
Birthday chap : But that tastes like ass!!
Me butting in : Depends on the girl man!

Another hour passes, more people join in, and some are lying face down in the basement bathroom.

Asshole who volunteers opinion irrespective of audience: We gotta go early, me and the wife have some gardening to do tomorrow
Someone else : Dude, I gotta slow down, the room is spinning
Me : Bartender, 3 shots of red breast

At this point, I was reasonably sober, and had to drive. And why the fuck don't my wimpy friends drink whiskey? That I was pissed off would be putting it lightly. And Mr. Asshole started pontificating on how we software nerds aren't quite engineers since we don't work on a lathe. Apparently an engineer is someone who does "stuff" and makes "things" with his hands. I gestured to the birthday chap that Mr. Asshole was pleasuring himself and was due for a finish reminiscent of the Icelandic volcano. You know - slow, dusty and something most of us don't give a shit about. Caught in the act, I was glared at by Mr. A.

"What?" he bellowed.
"Your lack of job satisfaction and low productivity has no bearing on why the world calls me an engineer"

Frankly, between me and all 1.5 of you, I don't care if I'm called a pig-nipple-tickler as long as I like what I do and get paid for it. And this isn't the first time I've heard that only mechanical engineering is true engineering (ignoring the fact that the people working with cutting tools are most likely high-school dropouts). What makes it special is that Mr. A is belongs to the species of jerk-offs who opine all the time under the guise of a debate. How is it a discussion if you won't listen to others' opinion and are unwilling to change yours when presented with a compelling argument? Are you that insecure that you must interrupt 4 bachelors talking about women they'll never be in the same room as, with shit about "finding a purpose"? If I want rehashed opinion from your twitter list, I know where to look.

I can be pretty pig headed about my opinions too. I wouldn't have strong opinions if I was swayed easily. But engaging me in a conversation just to preach and ignore everything I say is just plain disrespectful and a complete waste of my time. Time I can spend on making masturbation jokes, which are far better informed than Mr. A's opinion on financial reform.


Rassles said...

It's an odd thing, isn't it, when all of a sudden your job title matters more than what you actually fucking do for a living.

Also important to remember: he feels low, and therefore a peg above you because he understands that he's low you and you don't accept your own lowness. That's how assholes work, I promise. It's backassy and bonky, but there's not much we can do except just make fun of them mercilessly.

Purely Narcotic said...

Go, Thanatos! :D

I don't have anything else to say, I read the post and grinned.And then grinned some more.

Bird said...

Good one!

Australis said...

Nicely done. :D

Now please tell me a masturbation joke!

Wielder of Rotten Tomatoes said...

Firstly, your "check if real person" thing just made me enter hotabu.

Secondly, all engineers suck. Nah, I'm just saying that. The problem is, all engineers are treated the same, especially in India, like dirt. That ends up leaving all of you with a chip on your shoulder, and therefore each of you is forced into a pissing contest as to what is real engineering and what isn't. I think all you engineers should team up and work against the lawyers, doctors and management gurus that are responsible for your low self-esteem.

As for the kind of person that has you peeved, I am sure that is irregardless of profession. I can already think of one person in my profession that seems to fit the bill.

Shinerpunch said...

Will you do me a favor? Email me. I cannot find your email for the life of me. I'm also lazy.


Thanatos said...

@Rassles - Aye, make fun of such people we will.

@Purely-Narcotic - Grin back. And I read a certain tweet ;)

@Bird - Thanks

@Australis - Coming soon ;)

@Weilder - Hello, and agree. I guess being one in oh-so-many also doesn't help self-esteem.

@Shinerpunch - My bad, I haven't listed an email ID. I spammed you an hour ago.