Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Everlasting Gaze

I've written about my good buddy S before. Quick recap : he's from the subcontinent (not Indian - but more Indian than I am), tried his hand at the dating game and didn't do too well. Thanks to the wonders of arranged marriage his mom hooked him up with a rather pretty youngster and he's all "settled" now. And by that I mean he gained 50 lbs.

He first got to know the girl by an email his mom sent him with her pictures in it. He showed me the email, and I got to know her by saying "I'd hit that".

Last week, we were talking about this girl (not his wife) we knew who was to join as an intern. She isn't very likable, and her unibrow doesn't help. Our conversation

Me : Yeah, that [redacted] is coming back as an intern
S : oh, ok.
Me : Totally hate that unibrow.
S : Why?
Me : Because!
S : Slow down, what's a unibrow?

I explained, adding that it makes women look fugly. I should note here, that S being diametrically challenged, every move and word is slow and deliberate. And his sub-continent accent increases in the face of things he doesn't understand.

S : What's fugly?

At this point, I should have sensed something bad was about to happen and should have bailed, but hey, I was never known for my foresight. And so I enlightened him about that too.

S (deep, deep accent) : Why do you say that? I like unibrows!
Me : (with a contorted smile imagining the multitude of ways I could make fun of this unfortunate admission)
S : My wife has a unibrow!

It took about 2 minutes of backtracking and some unconvincing explanations as to why his wife's unibrow didn't fit my definition of fugly.

So yeah. We don't talk that much now.


Rassles said...

Now, he should be glad you think unibrows are fugly, because at least he knows you're not boinking his wife.

Purely Narcotic said...

You could have just pointed out that Bollywood actress Kajol.

Mmm...you were eyeing his wife, eh?

Not Afraid to Use It said...

This is my first visit over here, and you had me at unibrow. You cemented it at fugly. I've only read one post, and I think I'm in love.

Thanatos said...

@ Rassles : Yeah, no one sees the silver lining these days

@ Narco : Not in the least. I just offered an honest opinion when he showed me her pictures the first time. I've behaved since then...

@ Not

Hello, and welcome. Stay!