Not tonight, honey...

Once a 80 year old guy married a 75 year old woman. They went to the Bahamas for their honeymoon. They had this awesome cottage by the beach. They'd spend all day walking on the beach, sipping margaritas and taking in the sun. The first night, they got close together, looked deeply in each others' eyes, held hands... and went to sleep. The next night, they hugged passionately, held hands...and went to sleep. The third night, the guy held his wrinkled hand out..and the wife said "not tonight honey, I have a headache".

There's a friend of mine from the sub-continent who's a good chap but he can be a little slow on the uptake. Hey man, if you're reading this, you're a brother and there's a compliment coming your way, alright?

Anyway, I roomed with him when we were interns about 2 years ago. It was a good summer, all the interns were fun and I made some good friends. This guy, whom we'll call S, was a good cook (ding ding ding we have a compliment!!). He'd cook for some 20 chaps every weekend and we'd lap it up. There's this girl we'll call Eliza Dianne Robertson, who was rather fond of his cooking. So Eliza Dianne Robertson offered to return the favor by buying him dinner. Time was short and the date didn't quite happen. He moved back to town later that year and promptly asked her out.

Date night, S had a rather nasty headache but decided he'd go anyway. Dinner, I'm told, went well. Eliza Dianne Robertson had a great swinging time, and suggested they get drinks downtown. S replied "uh, not tonight - I have a headache, I want to crash early".

Surprise surprise, Eliza Dianne Robertson didn't return S' calls from then on. 2 months later, he met her "new boyfriend". Eliza Dianne Robertson was married 10 months later. She had a kid a month after that. Gee golly, storks in America are goddamn efficient.