Suicide by star

Note to self (and other dimwits) - When a girl asks about her ex, TREAD GENTLY. In fact, run away.

See, in my feeble dating experience, a break-up is an intervention and is the only solution that doesn't end in murder. So when my friend asked about our mutual friend who was her ex, I replied "oh you know him, he's the same". "And what does that mean?" she quizzed. A wiser man would have picked his next few words carefully, but the only time "wise" applied to me was when it was followed by "ass". So naturally I boasted "Eh, you know, he's full of it as usual". Silence. I went on "you know, he's always bragging..." and this point those rusty gears in my head began turning as I had the onerous task of processing multiple thoughts. "whoa, she's frowning", "talking about how he's plowed multiple girls since the break-up will not end well" and "did I wear deo?"  I ended with "... bragging about how he's leading a totally er healthy lifestyle. Say the weather is FINE tonight".

CRISIS AVERTED.

I'm going to the left

Its everywhere. All around me, you, and everyone else we share this rock with. It can be reassuring, keep you company, give you something to think about. I think of life as being a sine wave - ups, downs, ups and you know what's coming next. But it never wanes.The chatter, the sound, the noise of "social media". Information, opinions, facts, debates. People have so much to say, precious little patience to listen.

Have I had nothing to say because I've been listening? I doubt it. That life got in the way is too easy of an excuse. That I got swept in the flood of others' words can't be my escape. Reading is not the only exercise my mind needs, I need to string a few words together.

Hello world.

Yes! I am A Long Way From Home

I'm an army brat. Almost everyone disagrees. I can see why. I saw unit life only for 10 years or so. I never went to "Army" school. I don't posses the brash, cocky self-confidence that characterizes my peers. Heck, I don't even speak Hindi. A lot of people hate me for talking about myself as an army brat, some don't even like the "community" in general.

What most people won't understand is that identifying oneself as an army brat/airforce kid is only an attempt to find kinship. To find a meaning for enormous social pressures we faced growing up. Years of being knocked on the knuckles for not knowing which fork, spoon and knife to use when. Horrific bullying by thugs whose fathers were your father's superiors - it added an extra element of helplessness. Being asked not to mingle with kids whose dads weren't officers. Parties, gymkhanas, club events where every "uncle" and "auntie" had to be greeted before eating a tenth of how much a 7 year old would really want to eat. It's not a patch on the smug superiority exhibited by Dubai raised NRI kids.

Was life harsh and cruel? Sometimes. Was it abusive, and do we seek to form a support group by labeling ourselves? Not in the least. All my family has of our life from 15 years ago is a canteen card and a rank my dad carries. I don't miss a whole lot from my childhood in some remote army base in a fucking jungle. But when I'm down half a bottle of that Irish poison, don't roll your eyes if I want a label to belong to. You wouldn't know - you weren't there.

Frozen Twilight

I have been getting some exercise lately, and while it hasn't yet made a difference to my bulging waistline, it keeps me happy. I'm doing something worthwhile, I tell myself, while massaging my sore muscles.

I'm not too concerned about my blog being read and commented on, but I do like commenting on some of the blogs I frequent. I get the feeling some see it as a chore, or even a visiting card, often not saying anything more than "lol! so true!" and I find that rather appalling. But I have an important message today. It appears that blogger has more than 1 comment form template available. One particular template doesn't play well with the combination of my firefox+adblock plus + filters at work. I can read the comments, but there's no room for me to chip in with my bedazzling insight. Most of the blogs on my reader seem to be switching to that form, and so guys, if you see this - know that I'm reading and liking your stuff, just not getting to express it. I can use my linux box of course, but I've stripped down the browser there for performance and use it to stay on the company intranet. And what is now getting to be a regular feature in my life, I don't have the mental bandwidth to figure out a solution for my windows box.

Winter is upon us, the air's colder and the wind cuts like a knife. We haven't seen too much snow yet, but all that can change in 1 afternoon. I have reasonably new tires and all the kinks in my car sorted out, so I'm not very concerned about losing control. Still, after a minor bump on the kerb turned into an ordeal that lasted several months and cost me hundreds of dollars, I'm going to be a bit wary about driving on a snowy/icy road. Hope all goes well.

Colorado Sunrise

Me : So guess what, that tooth aching and all, I was looking for dentists

Kid : Yeah?

Me : (about to launch into details about insurance SNAFUs, x-ray BS, worries about dental hygiene)

Kid : Hey, can you see the sun from where you are?

Me : Umm, no?

Kid : Oooh, there's this rainbow like thing below it. It's so cool

Me : ....

Kid : Let me a take a picture and call you back

Me : ....